Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
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