i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
