I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Randomize
