it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Barsexuality is the new black.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
