Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Randomize
