Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Randomize