So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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