Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
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