i just had sex bonerless
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Randomize
