isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I just forgot I was standing up.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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