pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Randomize
