you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
