How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
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