Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
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