dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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