Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize