Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
