She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize