he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
dude. I can hear the air.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
