Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
