If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
two words: eviction party
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
