i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
