You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
