just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
