Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
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