I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
