hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
