I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Randomize
