I wish my penis had an off switch
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Randomize
