So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
