It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
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