what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Randomize
