Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
