Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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