weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
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