Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I'm bleeding and have questions
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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