just tell him i said nine months
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I can feel your judgement through the phone
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
