Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Randomize
