Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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