saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
pray to the hookup gods
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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