Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
