I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Randomize
