my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
