ugly people sure do ruin things
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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