He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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