new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
