I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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