Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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