i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Boobs speak an international language.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
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