It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
