Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
