how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Randomize
