I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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