She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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