ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Randomize
