His pubic hair was longer than his dick
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Randomize
