are you still at the devil's house?
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
