Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Randomize
