your room smells of hookers.
And success
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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