does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
