There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Randomize
