i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize