jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Randomize
