dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Can I color on your dick again?
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Randomize
