I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
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